Project Egg
by xaddictedx
Summary: The most ridiculous thing has happened. What happened? Nerissa rewakened? Phobos released? Elyon dies? But no... something much more out of pace...
1. Egg what?

**Hey everybody! I thought I'd write a little parody. I got this idea from Akatsuki Will, when she had an project in Moral Education class. Yeah. So thank her as well!**

**I don't own witch. You don't own WITCH. We all know that we don't own WITCH. SO WHY DO WE HAVE TO KEEP TYPING DISCLAIMERS IN THE CHAPTERS!?**

**I will not be going in POVs. This is a narrative. Yay...**

**So read and have fun.**

It was an ordinary day at an ordinary school with ordinary children and ordinary classes. With ordinary teachers talking in the same boring tone like a vacuum cleaner. Fun day, isn't it? Wouldn't you love to go to this school? I mean, what's more fun than boring?!

Probably a whole lot. But whatever.

Feast your eyes on Sheffield Institute, where the days are bland, and the students sleep six hours straight. The only thing exciting is –

"Miss Lair, would you please as to be so kind to PUT DOWN THE EGGS!"

Looks like something interesting is happening in the Moral Education classroom. Let's go have a look.

We enter a classroom to see twenty two children and a harassed looking teacher who are all, surprisingly, awake. Next to the teacher, is a brunette girl. On the floor, there are three smashed eggs. Looks like someone has taken juggling to entertain themselves while the teacher went to get a coffee. This should be interesting. We sit down to watch, unknown to everyone else in the classroom.

'Miss Lair' grinned at the teacher nervously, and slid back into her seat next to the Asian girl with overly long hair.

"Next time, Irma, could you at least try juggling something less... crack-able?"a African American girl with numerous beads in her short hair suggested quietly.

These girls, my friends are ITH in the WITCH group. WITCH is a group of very unlikely girls with a strange but inseparable friendship. Sometimes known as the 'Inseparable Five', the girls were famous for different things in the school. But more on that later. Let's return to the egg scene.

But first you should know their names. The brunette is Irma, African American is Taranee, and the Asian one is Hay Lin.

Back to the eggs.

"What else are we supposed to do? This school is so boring..."

The teacher was speaking again. Pay attention, it's rude not to.

"This term's major project in Moral Education topic is _responsibility._ You are all going to get an egg, but you are _not_ going to juggle them like Miss Lair – "

The class laughed. And the teacher, pretending (and failing) not to hear them, rambled on.

"You are to bring the egg back by the week after the next in tip-top condition. While you're with your egg, you are to write some journal entries on what you did with you egg – "

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Write a journal entry on what you did with your egg, oh, that's good, that's a good one right there, HAHAHA...

We're not the only ones who are laughing. The whole class was rolling on the floor, laughing their heads off.

"And if you neglect your egg – " the teacher was screaming herself hoarse over the noise, "You will find yourself explaining to your parents on _why_ you failed on the subject that you _should _be acing at this age!"

The laughter stopped abruptly. Not the dreaded confrontation with the parents! Parents gets to the kids every time. Everyone resumed their seats and turned into angels complete with halos over their heads and big sparkly eyes.

... That was my hallucination with the halos.

"These eggs have been soaked in a special chemical, so I'll know if you've smashed your eggs when you bring them back to me. No, I will not tell you what chemical I soaked it in, so you wouldn't get a new egg and dunk it in. This project is due the Friday after the next. Class dismissed."

Talk about a stern teacher. Everyone packed up their book bags, got their eggs and left the classroom. We follow the kids outside, then followed the ITH of WITCH. Soon they were joined by W and C, standing for Will and Cornelia, by the way.

"So, how was class today?" Will asked everyone.

"Well, we had to take care of an egg. You?"

"Same thing."

Interesting.

Taranee took out a piece of paper out, with the requirements on the assignment written on it.

"It says here, you have to name your egg, wash it at least three times a week, and write journal entries on how you spent your time with your egg. Each journal entry must be at least half a page long, single spaced," Taranee read aloud. Everyone groaned.

"We have to _name_ it and _wash_ it?" Will exclaimed.

"I call Eggbert," Irma announced.

"Eggward," Cornelia called.

"Eggduardo," Hay Lin added.

"Eggy's mine," Taranee asserted.

"Do you _have _to make it hard for me?" Will growled.

"Yes." ITCH said simultaneously.

"This is going to be a long project..."

**There you all go! First Chapter points up not funny. But next chapter will be a journal entry of Will Vandom. (rubbs my hands together with fiend-like glee)**


	2. YOU'VE BEEN PWNED!

**I cannot believe I forgot about this. I think I might have alzhiemers sixty years before date…**

We enter the bedroom of Will Vandom. Will is currently bent over a battered notebook, on which stood an egg, which interestingly enough had eyes and nose drawn inexpertly on by a marker. Will glared at the egg from above, side, right, left, finally settling directly in front of it, staring at it at the part where there were two large disfigured circles...

I mean, the eyes.

We snicker, and continue to watch. Will is now pointing at the egg with her index finger.

"Look, I'm going to say this once, uh, whatever your name will be."

The egg did not respond. It just stared at Will with its big, round, innocent 'eyes'.

If you can call it that.

"I don't like you, and you don't like me, so you are going to behave yourself while under my roof! Okay. Well, technically it's my mom's… don't distract me! Either way, you are going to behave, you understand?" Will announces threateningly.

The egg still did not move, speak, or in any way to show life. Will, who seemed to think that the egg actually understood what she meant, looked satisfied. I suddenly got an idea, and sidled over beside Will, unbeknownst to her.

"Whyyyyyyyy?" I spoke in her ear, in a shrill whiny voice that greatly resembled my great aunt's. Will jumped.

"Who said that?" she yelled, turning around so quickly that we had to crouch down to avoid getting hit by her arms.

Worry not! Will cannot see us. We have unceremoniously 'borrowed' the invisibility cloak from Harry Potter, so all is well.

"PHOBOS? IS THAT YOU? OR NERISSA? OR IS IT YOU, YUA? I FRIGGIN SWEAR, I BEAT YOU ALL ONCE AND I CAN DO IT AGAIN!" Will screamed in a temporary moment of madness. She continued to scream about her old enemies for two full hours before her mom came back, and asked her what she was screaming about. Will made up some bad excuses (helped along unknowingly by us), some including banana peels, Spongebob, and something about the monkey and the trampoline.

At long last Susan Vandom left, looking thoroughly bemused. Will turned to the egg as soon as she heard her bedroom door slam shut.

"So it's _you_ wasn't it?'

No it wasn't, but we're not about to tell her that.

"I told you to behave, I _told_ you that you have to behave on my territory! And you, you -- "

The egg's grin continued to stay on its face.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Will asked the egg. You walked towards the egg, and prodded it slightly, so to Will, it seemed exactly like it was nodding.

Will was rendered speechless, but she got over it in a few minutes.

"Fine. _Fine._ All you eggs are the same, aren't you? You know what? You're grounded!" she declared, storming out of the room, then slamming the door shut.

We rip off the invisibility cloak, and collapse on the floor, laughing hysterically. Then we searched Will's room for a marker. When we finally found one (it was stuffed in one of her socks, god knows why is was there), we took the egg, wiped off the innocent grinning face, to replace it with a "YOU'VE BEEN PWNED!" smirking face (we tried VERY hard to imitate Will's 'unique' drawing style). We leave the egg on Will's pillow, after extracting the pillow from behind her bookshelf. We positioned the pillow on Will's bed, and pulled the covers over it.

We throw on the invisibility cloak once again, and sneak out the room to the dining room, where we see Will and her mother eating dinner. Susan was talking animatedly.

" -- And so, Dean just _popped _out of nowhere, and said 'where did she come from, where did _you_ come from?' and Jazzy just shrugged and went away -- "

Will coughed in annoyance. Susan stopped abruptly and changed the subject.

"So, how was your day today?" Susan Vandom asked. Will mumbled something about … something. Susan waited for something more comprehensible to come out of Will's mouth, but all Will did was busy herself with the salt shaker.

An awkward silence followed. It was broken by Susan.

"What were you doing in your room?"

"Oh yeah, that, I was having a conversation with my egg, that turned into an argument. But it's okay now, I grounded him." Will said conversationally. Susan stared at her precious daughter fearful for her sanity. Will swallowed the last few bits of her dinner, placed her plates in the washer, and turned around to see her mother with a towel and an ice pack. Before Will could do or say anything, she found herself nearly smothered by her mother.

"Are you okay honey? Are you sure you don't need sleep? Do you have a fever?" Susan asked, placing the ice pack on Will's head, looking concerned. Will's eyes widened, and finally wriggled free of her mother's grip. She explained to her mom about the egg project, and Susan was forced to accept that her daughter was not a loony, and didn't have a fever.

Will returned to her room, and we followed her. A few minutes later, a snarl broke through the house.

"YOU BLASTED EGG! No, you are NOT sleeping on MY BED!"

Apparently our friend Will found the egg on her pillow.

"It's MY bed, it's MY room, no, I wont allow it…"

The egg's 'you've been PWNED!' face did not change.

"Fine, you want my bed? You can take it! You know what? I will sleep on the couch today, and stay away from you!"

Will marched out of the room, and slammed the door shut. We are rolling on the floor dying of laughter.

_Egg journal that __I don't want to write_

_Today I took my egg home, and told the egg of some of the basic rules of my household. Not only would it refuse to listen, the egg demanded that I state the reasons why the rules are in place. We got into an argument, and now egg is grounded for a month._

_After __I had dinner, I found my egg on MY BED, which is MINE, obviously, but it was claiming it. It apparently doesn't like the plastic lunch box I had prepared for it. I am sleeping on the couch tonight and I daresay it is quite uncomfortable. The flashing lights coming from the outside aren't doing me much good either, because the whole room is flooded because of the window wall._

_I officially hate egg. Yes, I shall name him egg._

_Will Vandom, still awake at three in the morning because of the egg and a car alarm._

_(I HATE EGG!)_

… **XD. The monkey and the trampoline is an old Fairly Odd Parents joke that I have taken quite a liking to . I am happy now that I'm a bit freed up for this week, I probably will be back to writing again! YAY!**


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